I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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