I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Be still, my beating vagina.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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