I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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