No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
