oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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