i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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