i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
