What did we do last night that was yellow?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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