I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
