Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
