some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
