jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Need sex. Gaining weight.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
