Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
A bitchslap is in order.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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