Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I need a hoe opinion
go on
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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