He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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