Do you still have your period?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
