Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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