I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
