Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
