isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
