chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm like, not good at living.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
