So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
