piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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