I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
