I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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