Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Naked. naked and bneed help.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
