I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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