Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize