i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
