I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
