so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
