did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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