used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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