summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
