You just made me feel so damn special
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
