I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize