I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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