just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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