The maid of honor just puked.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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