Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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