Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
