we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
