She's JV to your varsity
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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