i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
