In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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