As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You're like the curious george of whores
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Randomize
