Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
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