I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
