Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
