I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys