I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.