Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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