Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
