we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
you had me at cake vodka
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm getting married
To pizza
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
