i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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