Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(209): View more from California

Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.

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(209): Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy. http://tfl.nu/mqdd

Replies (25) Good night (1782) Bad night (469) Order T-Shirt
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(917): View more from New York City

found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him

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(917): found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him http://tfl.nu/3fbj

Replies (21) Good night (1297) Bad night (8728) Order T-Shirt
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?

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(+44): Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill? http://tfl.nu/844o

Replies (14) Good night (3603) Bad night (1638) Order T-Shirt
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(816): View more from Missouri

Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.

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(816): Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster. http://tfl.nu/ox02

Replies (26) Good night (5837) Bad night (964) Order T-Shirt
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(773): View more from Illinois

Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.

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(773): Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary. http://tfl.nu/s27x

Replies (2) Good night (2591) Bad night (798) Order T-Shirt
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(912): View more from Georgia

we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.

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(912): we bribed her with croutons and jello shots. http://tfl.nu/71j8

Replies (4) Good night (3158) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt
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(913): View more from Kansas

she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.

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(913): she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me. http://tfl.nu/ey2n

Replies (16) Good night (5721) Bad night (1731)
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(819): View more from Quebec

We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.

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(819): We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive. http://tfl.nu/7d2g

Replies (20) Good night (4262) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
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(972): View more from Texas

Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?

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(972): Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday? http://tfl.nu/8ic0

Replies (3) Good night (2007) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza

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(832): Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza http://tfl.nu/lbxf

Replies (9) Good night (1608) Bad night (1706)
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(770): View more from Georgia

We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.

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(770): We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere. http://tfl.nu/s422

Replies (2) Good night (1992) Bad night (794) Order T-Shirt
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(618): View more from Illinois

This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?

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(618): This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it? http://tfl.nu/yhoj

Replies (9) Good night (1728) Bad night (733) Order T-Shirt
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.

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(608): You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal. http://tfl.nu/so63

Replies (21) Good night (6819) Bad night (625)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love

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(774): Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love http://tfl.nu/hnbw

Replies (6) Good night (1749) Bad night (448) Order T-Shirt
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.

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(505): I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome. http://tfl.nu/rp6m

Replies (5) Good night (974) Bad night (212) Order T-Shirt

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