Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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