You're completely useless in the revolution.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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