You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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