she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
