I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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