I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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